Top 7 Redux - No Safety Net Edition

This edition may prove to be a little shorter than my previous postings due to my more unusual circumstances of being on the road.

First, for a general observation: maybe the contestants learned tonight that they should just ignore the week's intended format all together. The judges' ubiquitous praise for those that rearranged the songs to be other than disco for their “originality” was the obvious actual theme of the night. When the first few performers did it, I thought they were cheating a little. As the night went on, and the judges never called them on it, nay, showered compliments on those that did it, I realized the pattern. Hopefully, those that are left afterwards learned the valuable lesson: do whatever fits you best (except for you Lil…they will never ever like whatever you do).

Anoop SHOULD Go

Lil and Anoop WILL Go

Paula MUST Go

7. Lil Rounds (Last Week’s Ranking: 6th), “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan – Poor confused Lil. “Be a diva”. “”Know who you are”. She is the victim of type-casting from the beginning of this process but never being able to fit the type. And, folks, I am sorry to nitpick like the rest of the judges, but the wigs are just distracting now. It is tough to say she is finally being who she is when she is looking so radically different every week. I will say this: if she sang these songs better (no matter what type of songs she did), I wouldn’t care about something as trivial as that, and the judges might be more forgiving too. My sister, who is a strong Lil supporter, commented during her performances: “Ummm, she sounds a little pitchy”. Hoping to finally get the answer to what Randy has been meaning with that for seven years, I asked, “What is that?” Answer: “I don’t know, but she doesn’t sound good.” There you go. “Death spot” first performing position plus weak performance equals bottom three (at best).

6. Anoop Desai (7th), “Dim All the Lights” by Donna Summer – Facial hair didn’t work for me. His wardrobe is a continuing disaster and is being made worse for me because it is obviously intentional. And, just like with Lil, if I enjoyed his singing I wouldn’t care about these things. He is a bore. And, what was going with that ending? It felt like he was told on the spot to end abruptly so they could finish on-time (which they didn’t again, by the way). The “but he can sing” mantra (that I have admittedly trumpeted before as well) has gotten old. End this now.

5. Matt Giraud (3rd), “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees – My goodness, how this guy has dropped like a stone since I declared he was a likely winner. The collective American groan when they heard what song he had picked was deafening. But, at least he was truer to the week’s format than most of the others. He is in trouble with me this week because my original critique of him from Top 13 week is still true: we already have a Justin Timberlake in this world. We don’t need a Justin Timberfake (confession: not my original phrase but it is so true that it must be used in this space). It did look like, however, that he was trying to answer TMC’s call for Giraud friends to show themselves. Then again, there are a lot of unemployed actors in Hollywood.

4. Kris Allen (5th), “(She Works) Hard for the Money” by Donna Summer – He was the first in performance order to change the arrangement of the song to be anything other than disco to fit himself. At the time, I criticized thinking, “I didn’t know Jason Mraz did a remake of this song”, and I thought the judges would use the “you’re being indulgent” line. But, whatever. I have to stop hating on Kris. The judges and the people (let’s be for real: the women) love him. He can sing okay, he plays instruments, and he easily replaces Matt as a “middle-of-the-road” longshot alternative to Adam and Allison because he is, again, cutey-patuty (the last time I am saying that). And, one more thing, I have reached my point in the season when I can no longer tolerate Paula Abdul. If it was up to her, no one would ever leave and we would have 36 idols every season. I am sick of her incessant distracting dancing (and, with Lil, she danced and then STILL criticized), and I am tired of her cutting Simon and everyone else off like the show is about her. Seriously, does anyone EVER care what she has to say? Please, someone give me the other side of this. Okay, off the soapbox now.

3. Danny Gokey (4th), “September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire – I struggle to say anything about him. Earnest and passionate performer. Boy, that is repetitive of me, isn’t it? As others have commented in the past, every song sounds the same with him. I cannot imagine him selling any album past the first week even with the American Idol marketing juggernaut. What is Taylor Hicks doing these days? Oh, and back to the Paula soapbox: “One of the sexiest voices ever…” (???) She is a lunatic and must be muted at all times. Back to Danny. He is always good enough, however, to make it to the next week.

2. Adam Lambert (2nd), “If I Can’t Have You” by the Bee Gees – So, the role this week was “Make ‘Em Cry Adam”. My brother commented during the judges assessments of Adam: “Look at him, ACTING humble”. Adam, the world knows what you’re doing. But, you have to admit that his vocal range is the best this year and maybe that the show has ever had (I will have to give that last statement some thought, but no matter), and he does live up to the anticipation people have to see him every week. Maybe this nation of AI voters doesn’t care that they will never see the real Adam. Maybe, they don’t want to see the real Adam.

1. Allison Iraheta (1st), “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer – I usually save my fashion issues for those who perform mediocre, but what is the fascination with putting Allison in outfits that make her look like a hooker from “Starsky & Hutch”? Is Randy (or Ryan, to be racially neutral) going to dress like Huggy Bear next week? Anyways, Allison’s excellent smoky Pat Benatar-like vocals made me not care that this was not a disco arrangement. She’s still my favourite.

Okay, this didn’t turn out as short as I thought it would.

Bottom 3 prediction: Lil, Matt, Anoop.

Fire away with your comments! Take care.